Case Study, Inner Conflict

I frequently help people deal with conflict between them and a sibling or partner or work colleague.

But just as common are situations where individuals are in conflict with themselves internally. One part of the mind is in conflict with another part. People are often unaware that this is happening. What they are aware of is that they cannot seem to do something they want to do, or to stop doing something they do not want to do.

Angela* is genuinely keen to become fitter. She has decided that reducing her weight will be a good step towards her goal. But every time she starts on a programme of eating smaller portions or reducing her intake of fattening foods, she very soon gives up.

She gives up because it seems to be an intense battle; one part of Angela’s mind is convinced that she will benefit from carrying less weight while another part believes that eating in her current manner is actually very beneficial.

Angela will not be able to achieve her goal unless she recognises her internal conflict and gets those two battling parts of her mind to exist more harmoniously together. She will probably need some help with this. A very effective NLP strategy that will help Angela is a process aptly called “Conflict Resolution”.

The Conflict Resolution strategy is used in conscious mode, it involves sitting in a relaxed and comfortable manner with hands resting, upturned, one on each thigh. You then imagine that each one is a different part of you. The two parts represent the two conflicting parts of your mind. You then imagine a miniature doll on each hand. You choose a name for each and identify one as supportive of your constructive ambition and the other one as pulling you away from what you want to achieve. I then ask you to describe each of them, how they are dressed, what they look like, how they behave towards each other and how they behave in general. Then comes the curative bit. You very slowly allow the hands to lift up away from the thighs and towards the heart. Amazingly, they will do that without any conscious input from your thoughts. When they eventually reach your heart, you clasp both firmly onto your heart, as you simultaneously take a deep breath in and hold it for a few moments, as you imagine that the best of each will fuse into one personality prepared to support your good intentions.

I am unable to explain how this strange treatment works; we are still a long way from understanding why the brain, (and therefore the mind) does things. I only know that it can have profound and positive desired results.

Perhaps Angela’s story will inspire you to look into why you tend to boomerang from being overweight, then achieving your ideal weight, then you find yourself piling it all back on again?

*Names and other identifiable details have been changed to preserve confidentiality. Such details can be made available to any regulatory body seeking to verify authenticity.